How to Write a Historical Fictional Narrative Part 3

 Now you should have a first draft of your historical Fictional Narrative: 

Here is my Play,  Yona and King Asherbanipal

The first Draft is on this link: http://rachaelenglishclasses.blogspot.com/2022/06/how-to-write-historical-narrative.html

Here is a video to learn more: 

 Now I am going to revise the first draft, with more detail, and change some sentences to make them more clear.  Organization, Voice, Word Choice are the traits that I will look for.  See which changes I made!!

Characters:  

Yonah:  a prophet of the LORD

King Asherbanipal: King of Nineveh

Queen Libbali-sharrat : Asherbanipal's wife

Advisor to Asherbanipal: advisor to the king

Guard: trusted servant 

Setting King Asherbanipal's palace, Late afternoon in Nineveh. Summer has come early this year. It is very hot outside, but in the Throne Room, slaves are fanning the King with palm fronds. 

Guard: Oh great King Asherbanipal!  An  Yeudite from Yehuda  is demanding to see the Great and Wonderful King Asherbanipal! Shall I let him see your beauteous visage? 

King Asherbanipal: I have dispensed with all other business today, I haven't had any fun yet. Elam's King is here as well, or rather, just his head, that I love to look upon and relive the rewards of battle.  Is there another country in the known world that I haven't conquered? 

Advisor:  King Ashebanipal, with the enslavement and destitution of Elam, you have conquered them all! 

King Asherbanipal: So, let this Yehudite  in, I will see him, what fun we shall have with Yehuda.  They are late with the tribute again, payment will be forthcoming, or shall I invade with my sword, my great army? 

Guard: Very well, Oh Great King, Protector of the Known World!

Yonah:  (water dripping from his clothes, puddles follow him everywhere ) King Asherbanipal! Great although you think you are, the LORD GOD is greater than you! As the LORD humbled Pharoah in Kemet, HE will humble YOU! All the lands that you have laid waste will rise again and conquer YOU! ELAM, will rise from the ashes, its lands will be the breadbasket of the world. Kemet,  the black lands of the Nile, will revolt.  Tyre, of the royal purple smelly dye, will come back from the sea, and lay waste to the Lands between the Rivers, Phoenicia, the ship builders,  Yehuda, the home of the wheat, olive, and date, will join together and destroy Assyria!  

King Asherbanipal:  Who is your God, and How would I know him? Who are you and from where do you come? 

Yonah: My God is the Creator of Heaven and Earth.   I come from Yaffo, a coastly city of Yehuda.  The Lord God commanded me to come and warn you, but I desired not, and took a ship to Tarshish, Three days have I spent in the belly of a great fish, and spit out here in Nineveh.  It is the greatest miracle that I am still alive, and so I submit myself to the Will of The HOLY ONE BLESSED BE HE  and now I warn you:   Beware, Nineveh has 40 days to repent or it will be destroyed! The LORD GOD has sent me!

King Asherbanipal: What powers doe this God have that he will tell me what to do?  What has Nineveh done to be destroyed?  

Yonah:  I have not wanted to come here but have been abjured by the Lord God,   It is a miracle that I know not how, but I know why.  It is to warn you, look around you, king Asherbanipal, your conquered lands do not rest so easy.  Even your brother, Shamash-shum-ukin’ in Babylonia is now gathering allies to overthrow you.  Repent!  Repent! Repent!  Turn from your Evil Ways!  If not, then The LORD GOD will bring destruction from your enemies! 

King Asherbanipal: Advisor, Why did you not tell me about my half-brother ?  

Advisor: Ah, I just only yesterday received the cuneiform tablet, and was going to bring it and read it to you!

King Asherbanipal:  Yes, you should have brought it to me first, I am always alert for first hand news of my esteemed half brother, as you know, I am not just the best swordsman, lion killer and protector of my people, I am a literate man of letters and history. 

Advisor: Yes, yes, my king.  

(He passes the heavy tablet to the king. )

 

King Asherbanipal: Yes, yes, the Babylonians are indeed raising their army, oh, Advisor, what is this smudged out line at the end?  Why did not the tablet finish with the customary salutation? 

(grabbing the Advisor by the neck)

Advisor: My messenger was in a hurry to bring me news and he must have grabbed the tablet before it was finished. 

King Asherbanipal: So, you Yehudite, I see that you speak the truth, my enemies are massing for rebellion. What does your God say to that? Shall I arouse the my army, put on my armor and destroy Babylonia? 

Yonah:  (raising his hands to the heavens) No, you foolish King, All events are directed by the LORD GOD!  Do as HE says and repent!  Your enemies will fade away if Nineveh turns from its evil ways! 

King Asherbanipal: Yes, we will do it!  Advisor, write to all the inhabitants of the city, they are to fast for three days, wear sackcloth and ashes, and take this prophet to instruct the people!  (Advisor quickly brings clay tablets and stylus to write, keeping away from the still dripping man, really it is amazing how much water he still exudes from his person.) 

Yonah: Thank you my king,  As an aside, if you are a man of letters and history, I suggest that you make yourself an even better monument to history and make amends for all your evil deeds.  Gather all the literature and knowledge of the  known world.  Make Nineveh a paradise of scholars! And please, remove the King of Elam's head from the garden.   

King Asherbanipal: Esteemed Wife, you among women of the kingdom have recently learned to read, what shall we do for our people instead of conquering? 

Queen Libbali-sharrat: Why not gather more stories to read? Is not the pursuit of knowledge admirable?  Let us sit in the garden and discuss this in more detail, O my King and Husband?  Here, lie down on the couch, and my servants will bring you succulent fruits and fine wine.  Come, lets get away from the dripping prophet, he is making such a mess of the rugs! 

(Yonah exits trailing water all over the palace, the king and queen go to the garden, the king lies down on the couch while Queen Libbali-Sharrat reads to him the story of Gilgamesh)

King Asherbanipal: (while lying on the couch) Very good my darling, you have come a long way in your reading,  I would like to build something for you:  I know! I will build a giant building to hold all the knowledge of the world!  I will call it a Library!  Advisor, send out all the messengers and  bring me all the stories and science that you can!  Tablets instead of war!  I will be praised forever more and the conqueror of Knowledge!  (Advisor calls to runners to collect as many clay tablets as possible) 

The End